Did I Die, or Just Stop Posting?

It's been about 6 months since my last post. It was simply becoming too hard to get ideas, search through what now passes for my brain for words to express them, and to post them. The prospect of this effort, on a continuing basis, combined with questionable reader interest, began to sap my motivation.

But then, I reminded myself, that's not why I started the blog. I had simply wanted to record a little of the life I lived, the things I did, the people I met, and the ideas and events that molded and moved me. If no one wanted to join me in this endeavor, so be it.

As to the difficulties I've experienced due to my condition (PD), I was reminded of the biblical story of Job and the hardships he endured to prove his devotion to God. Having recently faced some tough times myself, I feel a certain degree of empathy for Job.

On the other hand, I do not share Job's apparent belief that we humans should accept suffering without question or complaint, even if arbitrary, unjust or undeserved. Instead of becoming angry about hardships inflicted on innocent people, we are urged to admire and emulate the patience of Job. Frankly, this idea stinks.

We are told that God is loving, all powerful and just. But when we encounter hardship and misfortune, we are apparently expected to refrain from asking why. Do we defy or embarrass God when we search for reason, logic and meaning in our lives.? I think not. If God is truly loving, all powerful, and just, He should able to take care of Himself.

Indeed, a more interesting and controversial question is: why does God, being all powerful, loving and just, tolerate the spectacle of widespread human suffering? In other words, if God can't eliminate the suffering experienced by millions every day, is He truly omnipotent? But if God could alleviate that suffering, but doesn't, is He truly just or loving?

A larger question is how does one deal logically with a mind numbing day to day experience like Parkinson's? We could blame God, of course. Or we could rail incessantly about the injustice of it all. But unless we want to waste the rest of our lives with a senseless rant against fate, that's not much of a plan.

This would appear to be an appropriate time to inquire about the physical, mental and spiritual health of a blogger who hasn't posted anything to his blog for several months. Sounds like this person could use a good stiff upper lip, or a kick in the butt or both.

Having said all that, I don't feel much better, but then nothing ventured, nothing gained. Now, if I can just stay away from all those floods, pestilence and famines that gave Job such a hard time!